Making Decisions – Feel the fear and do it anyway.
We are so often faced with decisions. Some decisions are small, like what to make for dinner. Occasionally, the decisions that we are faced with can be life altering. We are all aware that certain decisions have to be made – even the difficult ones. We may be procrastinating about making them because they are difficult and the outcome may be very scary indeed, or even unknown.
For example; we may be in a relationship with an abusive spouse and we know that if we should make the decision to leave, we may end up in a difficult financial position, our children may suffer, and we may be unclear about the future. Or, perhaps we are in a job that we dislike intensely and leaving may produce the same result. Or, perhaps we know what it is we really, really want to do, but we are in fear that we are not good enough, not qualified enough, not confident enough, or whatever.
Making life altering decisions is extremely hard. Sometimes it even feels life-threatening. Our bodies go into an immense state of fear and insecurities pop up like ads on Google. Yet, we know and understand that if we do not make these decisions, we will continue to live in that “in-the-mean-time” space. Iyalna Vanzant has written a book called, In the Mean Time, which is inspirational and fabulous – if you want to know more.
I have had to make many life-altering decisions in my time, and they were all really hard to make. Given that we are beings of habit, breaking a habit is hard to do. And, as we know, worrying does help: 99% of the things I worried about never happened. Yet, we still worry and fret.
Again, I am faced with a life-altering decision. Should I, shouldn’t I? What if? How will I pay the bills? Am I good enough? Will the outcome be positive? What if I’m wrong? What will my family think? How will my friends react? Weeks and weeks go by: I am trapped in that “in-the-mean-time” space.
Late last night, I sat outside looking up at the stars and once again talked to God, the Universe, Tao, whatever it is that you call it. I asked for a sign from the heavens – a clear sign that is not vague – one that I can recognise as a sign. I waited, and waited some more, thinking perhaps I will see a UFO or something significant like that. Just as I was ready to give up, a bat flew right onto the veranda where I was sitting, coming right in front of my face. I don’t like bats and a “girly shout” came out of my mouth. As the bat flew away, I thought, “I wonder if that was my sign?”
“Wow! Was that my sign?” I asked, my heart still thumping from fright. Within seconds, the bat appeared again, this time flying right around my head. I was amazed and a little freaked out! This morning, I Googled the spiritual symbolism of the bat: “Bats are symbols of rebirth – the facing of fears and being reborn. Through this we learn to release fear and anything which does not fit with our new growth. The bat is a symbol of the challenge to let go of the old and create the new.”
Over the last few weeks I have had other creatures show up in my life. Mice: “Tribes such as the Navajo established the mouse having governance over the southern quadrant of their medicine wheel, which represents a macrocosmic view of life. The southern quadrant of the medicine wheel holds sacred tenets such as new beginnings.”
And a snake: “In the keen Celtic mind, snake symbolic meaning of transformation came from the shedding of its skin. Physical evidence of leaving its form behind (casting off the old self), and emerging a sleeker, newer version made the snake a powerful symbol of rebirth and renewal.”
Am I still confused about the decision that I am faced with? NO! Am I still feeling insecure and inadequate? YES! Now at least I know that I am on the right track and the only thing that I am faced with are the feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Can I cope with that? I will do my very best!
When we have decisions to make, we can ask for help! We always get signs. I only re-remembered that I can ask for a sign last night. But looooong before I asked, the sign (or signs) that I needed showed up! I just forgot to pay attention. Being conscious and paying attention is what is required. Managing the fear and doing it anyway – now that is a whole new ball game!
Now, I will ask for courage: courage to walk my chosen path, yet again. I will ask for wisdom, wisdom to know what the next step is. I will ask for strength, strength to walk proudly into the future – the unknown! And I will ask for love – love to guide my steps. And so it is!