Years ago, someone introduced me at a lecture I was giving, saying something like, “Hilda’s teaching is like having open heart surgery – without anaesthetic.” I have always been direct and I have always stirred the conventional pot. I’ve never been sweet and nice and initially, I truly thought I had to literally change my personality to become spiritual. But I found out quickly enough that it would mean that I was out of integrity with myself and that meant that I was even further away from my God.

God… Let Me Start with God.

Over the eons, humanity has tried to name divine intelligence – and even calling it divine intelligence is a human attempt to define the indefinable. But, for the purposes of this article, I’ll call it that. It does not really matter if it is written in capitals or without the ‘o’. For me, divine intelligence is not driven by ego – like humans are. It is the epitome of unconditional love.

Let me try to describe what unconditional love may be like. Find that quiet place inside you. Just allow yourself to drift in space amongst the planets and solar systems. See the vastness. Imagine a black hole. Imagine a whole universe is moving towards this black hole. Unconditional love suggests that there is total acceptance of what is so. Therefore, divine intelligence does not grab its head and say, “Oh my goodness, the back hole is going to absorb a whole universe. What about all the life that will perish?” It simply observes as the black hole does what black holes do – it is neither good nor evil – it simply is.

Therefore, because of this total acceptance of what is so, divine intelligence, or God, has no requirement of anyone or anything. It is in complete acceptance of what is so. It has no need and no desire – it simply is. It does not need to be worshipped or praised. It does not interfere, give out rewards or punishments. Nor does it guide or lead. We think it guides and leads because when we connect to that part of ourselves that is divine, we make better decisions – decisions based on love which includes things like compassion, clarity, joy or kindness, rather than spite, anger, or any of the other negative emotions.

For me, God is that which makes the atoms move and therefore, “There is nowhere that I am not.” New age light workers have resisted the word God, because it is linked to organised religion. They use words like “The Universe” instead. I’m sure G-d does not mind. There is no more praise to do ‘good work’ or punishment for ‘bad work’. It simply observes what is so.

Divine intelligence, God, Spirit, Soul, Hanuman, Odin, Osiris, Pan, Wednesday, All-is-one – whatever salutation we choose to call that thing we consider divine, is just fine. We ascribe our own ideas to that which we cannot fathom. To even begin to think that one salutation is more advanced, or special, or chosen or right is simply another face of dogma. If you are a light worker and you still insist that your path is superior to the path of any other, you have very sadly missed the entire point. You see, we believe we are doing “God’s Work”. But we have free will and unconditional love – which really is accepting that which is so.

Therefore , we can’t lay blame in the face of divine intelligence for things humans do or don’t do. We mess things up and expect God, The universe, Shiva or whomever to intervene and help us. Only our own consciousness and decisions can help us and we are much more powerful when we do that in groups. When we work together towards a common goal and we use those aspects of ourselves that are linked to love, like compassion, dignity, kindness, nurturing, etcetera, we can create miracles. Just like the opposite, if we succumb to fear and dogma, we can create pain, anger, destruction, unkindness and suffering.

Unconditional love means just that – love without condition. Therefore, the light worker, Satan, demons, vegetarians, rapists, child molesters, Christians, Buddhists, Arc Angel Michael, prostitutes, nuns, and everything you can think of is equally “loved” by this divine consciousness. Or, it is simply accepting of what is so. We are all on a spiritual path. There is no other path to be on – there is only a spiritual path and there are many. To make those who are on a different path to the light worker wrong, is the darkness in the light. And that is spiritual ego at its best.

I do not believe for a single second that humans, including light workers, are capable of unconditional love for any length of time. We succumb to our humanness very quickly, and that is governed by love or by fear. And here we have a choice – I can decide to be loving and kind, or I can decide to be mean or thoughtless. In every moment of every day I get to decide again. And when we falter, we can choose again.

Our meagre attempts at unconditional love leave a lot to be desired. Just the thought of a black hole brings me to awe. And awe suggests that I am emotionally affected by the black hole. To be emotionally affected suggests humanity, not divinity. Let alone my thoughts and ideas about child molesters and rapists. That also does not mean that we should accept such cruelty. That is why we have emotions so we can react and be outraged and defend the victims. If we were pure, unconditional love, we would simply accept everything as it is.

But we are humans and we have feelings and we react. The best we can do is decide how we will react and hopefully that will come from a space of love – to teach people to change their behaviour to something more compassionate rather than cruelty. To wish retribution or punishment on a perpetrator is an example of hatred begetting hatred. If we were truly in a space of unconditional love, (read raised vibrational frequency) we would lovingly teach the perpetrator the way of kindness or compassion. But we don’t. We want to see them suffer. we are simply not able to maintain our so-called high frequency in the face of cruelty, for example.

Raise your Vibration to a Higher Frequency.

How many times have I heard that. Yes, we all have the capacity to raise our consciousness to a higher level. The telling thing of course is that so few of us manage to do that for any consistent period of time. And if you believe that your frequency is consistently higher than say, those who pray instead of meditate, you are back in the realm of dogma.

Dr. Masaro Emoto’s work clearly points us in the right direction with this. Prayer, to any of the “Gods”, and meditation produced very similar results in his water experiments – this is a function of our consciousness. If you have not heard of his work, Google him. It will blow your socks off.

Therefore, to make anyone who practices any religion wrong, is not raising your vibrational frequency as you think it is. Yours is not the only way, nor a superior way. The superiority of the light workers has been well documented – just like the superiority of the religionists – they alone will reach the kingdom of heaven. Exactly the same as the ascension principle of the new age. You just have to look at some memes on Facebook to see the superiority and arrogance. For me, those who have managed to “raise their vibrational frequency” somehow believe themselves to be in a more advanced category. I have heard talk amongst the spiritual community suggesting that others, “Have such a low vibration.” Such spiritual superiority (or pure ego) is certainly not very high in vribrational frequency.

We could rather bring in the light, and show, by our own actions, that we can choose to be more loving by not participating in gossip or we could react with kindness to someone who is angry. Perhaps give a kind word to a person serving us behind a counter who may be exhausted or stressed. We never know someone’s situation. By not demanding that someone behave in a certain way in the face of trauma or grief. If we can support that which serves the person we are trying to help rather than project our way onto another. Now that, for me, is true spiritual practice.

I Wonder What You Did to Attract That into Your Life

Holy Moly. Yes, we do create our own reality but at a super-soul level. This level has no ego and is in a space of unconditional love – like the black hole scenario. However, here on earth we are imbued with emotions. We have no choice about that. We signed on for an experience called earth and that means we are on this emotional rollercoaster ride for better or for worse. If we wanted to experience total unconditional love, we would have stayed in spirit form – where there are no feelings and no ego.

However, we are here. And even if we have set up certain experiences as soul, those experiences are happening to our human bodies with human emotions – now – in this time-space continuum.  To even ask someone what they did to attract such a negative experience into their lives is inhumane, narcissistic and smacks of downright arrogance and severe judgement.

When I lost my business way back in the early 2000’s and I was homeless, two people came to my rescue. TWO. Both on a spiritual path and neither of them asked what I had done to attract this chaos into my life. Many “light workers” just talked amongst each other about what a mess I had made. And this reaction was because they listened to the stories rather than have the courage to phone me and ask me what happened. I remember Heidi. I remember her compassion and strength she gave me to cope with the mess.

I even heard that I deserved it because I had become so arrogant. One very prominent light worker who channelled the Ascended Masters all the time, and who claimed that they were also ascended, ‘bought’ my Namaste magazine reader database from a staff member for R1.00 and threatened to sue me if I used it since it was a legitimate transaction. Really?

Think about it. Just think how a mother of a small child with cancer feels if a light worker suggests that if she raised her vibrational frequency to that of love and not to succumb to fear, perhaps her child would not have become so sick. And they do – I have heard them. This is shameful and shows a complete lack of compassion.

How would a woman, who has been gang raped, feel if we should ask, “What did you do to attract this into your life?” And my heart simply bleeds at this unkindness. To even suggest that sickness or tragedy occurs because of low frequency beliefs, is a shocker. How is it that small infants die a painful death from cancer – or worse? Do they deserve this illness because their parents failed to raise their vibrational frequency? This is exactly the same as religionists who say someone deserves an illness because of the sins of the father. Shameful.

Karma – the Ever-Present Karma.

Karma is one of the biggest misunderstood concepts of spirituality. Karma is a unit of experience that is two sides of the same coin. We create and agree to these experiences with our soul friends. Thus, karma is created on a very high level of soul where there is no ego – aka unconditional love. Remember the black hole.

Yet here on earth, we feel the impact of karma deeply. However – it is not a punishment like hell, that one wishes on someone. And I have heard so many light workers wish karma on others. It is no different than cursing someone to hell. The concept of hell goes beyond anything that I can imagine. A ‘loving’ God sentencing someone to hell where they will burn for all eternity. We have all burned ourselves on the stove or with fire – we know what a small burn feels like. Wishing hell or karma on anyone lacks basic compassion. I am often appalled that many “conscious” wish karma on others. Hmmm, High vibrational frequency? I don’t think so.

None so Virtuous than the Righteous.

Years ago, when I was running Namaste magazine, my staff and I were astounded at how many people called to tell us that this healer was evil, and that Reiki healer was using evil symbols, and we should expose this healing practice because they were charlatans, and so much more and even worse. It was never-ending.

It was also the first time that I began to realise that spirituality is as dogmatic as religion and that the spiritual practitioners, just like the religionists, were only human with human faults and failures. Just like there is in-fighting in religion – even the same religion – like Christianity, so there is in-fighting in the light worker/spiritual community. Our desire to be right often wins out over compassion, consideration and kindness.

We are only human and I say again – we have glorious intentions of staying in a space of love, but we simply fail – many times. Even when I suggested that I would write this article I was criticised and told to speak only of love. Just by that I again realised that humans are not capable of unconditional love. Sweeping things under a carpet though – we are masters at.

Healing Work

Again, many light workers suggest that if we do not succumb to fear and if we raise our vibrational frequency, we could heal ourselves of anything. Alas, two of my most spiritual friends passed away from cancer. Sweetness and light and vibrational medicine, laughter and joy, meditation and yoga and any and all healing modalities are there to alleviate our suffering. But even the best of them are only as good as they are. In this I’m finding the light workers/healers particularly annoying. Above all else – let there be compassion and understanding.

A friend of mine was dying in intensive care. A healer suggested we give him a coffee enema. He was coupled to 27 machines and on life support. I was so distraught since I knew he was dying. I saw my beloved partner and his mother, who had both passed away, standing next to his bed. I knew they had come to fetch him. I had been to hell and back with his multiple surgeries and the trauma of watching him die. When this healer suggested a coffee enema, I literally wanted to punch her. I needed to be held and comforted – not told that I could be doing something else… Even as he died, I was told I had not tired XX healing modality and perhaps if I tried that, he would not have died. This is inhumane.

I am a healer myself…

There is a time and a place…

In closing

This does not mean that the world does not need love and light. The world needs plenty of it. There is so much darkness going around. But to deny that there is darkness in the light is to deny the light. In order to remedy the situation, we must bring the darkness into the light. And this is what this article is about.

If the darkness is not brought into the light it will stay hidden and fester and broil and we will never face our own darkness. It is only when we face our own darkness that we can heal it. But this is a never-ending process. It’s a lifelong journey that one is on, and to suggest that we are never again going into darkness ourselves because we believe we are enlightened, is preposterous. We are human and as humans we fail and we get up and try again and again. And we remember about love and light and we pick ourselves up and dust the fear away and try again. Fail we certainly will. It’s part of being human.

That is the point and part of being a light worker.

I have lived for more than 60 years now and for about 30 of those years, I have been a seeker of truth. I think I may have been in the presence of a master. Once. Perhaps. I’m not sure about her vibrational frequency though. She seemed much more humble than a regular light worker..