When women talk about mansplaining it is not to piss the guys off – women can also mansplain – it is just a lot more prevalent with men. We bring it up because it is so tedious and hope that our mansplaining friend will learn something and perhaps become aware of how patronising it actually is. So look upon this post as a education opportunity rather than an attack on your manhood.
Women do not dislike mansplaining because they dislike men. They dislike mansplaining because it is patronising in the extreme, and because the men who do it do not mansplain to other MEN – they only mansplain to women.
There is a pattern to it.
- A woman will say something.
- A man will give a detailed explanation of how the thing works.
- A woman will challenge the man and suggest he is mansplaining.
- The man will explain why he explained
- The woman may leave it there or say they also know the subject matter. (Sometimes the woman is even a world-renowned expert on the subject.
- Man get defensive and will use the “Feminist” accusation or call her a ball breaker.
- Woman often just shrugs and says whatever.
- Man will go and find other subjects that someone else has commented on and also call it mansplaining so he can feel justified in his position.
- It that is not possible he will try an find another example of what she did actually get wrong.
I tried to point this out to a FB friend just recently. It went something like this:
I posted something about a crystal ball – see the graphic that goes with the article.
And here follows my interaction:
He says: No jokes: It can create a convex lens effect converging sung light like the effect of a magnifying glass.
I respond: Yes, I know – You do know that this is classic mansplain – right? You do know this?
He responds: My Profession
I say: Mansplaining is your profession?
He responds; Ti Amo and then Ouch.
And he says: Didn’t know that American Feminism has arrived in JHB.
I respond: Ti amo.
Then he finds another post on my FB page – one that was particularly sensitive for me, and posts a comment that says, “mansplain”. And the pattern in concluded.
I leave it there because – well…. what would the point be? Let me have a look at how this should really be interpreted. In my original post I stated very clearly that I have proof that a crystal ball can cause a fire since I have a dresser with a black spot to prove it. So, I assume that everybody will know that I know that a crystal ball can cause a fire. And let’s be honest. The majority of us played with lenses and made fires with them when we were small – so it is really common knowledge.
Should I have rather:
- Not pointed out his mansplain?
- Thanks him for his explanation? Or
- Point out the mansplain in an attempt to show him how patronising it is.
I tried 3. It backfired. The word feminist is not a bad word for me – I wear that badge proudly. When status quo is being questioned and women ask for equality, those who have lived with privilege will see that as an attack. But alas… perhaps if this shows just ONE guy how patronising their mansplaining is then… well, it was worth it.