I have just had an experience of the love and light of the new age. Someone on Facebook writes, “You are the source and cause, of your experience.” I replied to this by saying, “I used to believe this too. I have since learned that it can be a very painful and unconscious thing to say – it depends on the situation. I was not the cause of my deepest and most painful experience, the death of my beloved. Many of us are not the cause of our most painful experiences. I do agree that much of the BS struggles we have, are self-inflicted.” 

She replies, “You can choose for death to be painful or not.”

My response to that was, “Forgive me, XXX, if you think for a moment that death is not painful, you have not loved enough. Read Rumi, “The depth of our despair is equal to the height of our love.”

I leave it there and scroll on by and the very next post I read is from a friend and mother who is devastated by the unexpected death of her daughter, who had given birth 24 hours previously. Imagine telling this devastated woman that she can choose for her daughter’s death to be painful or not. 

I honestly and sincerely believe that the whole purpose of new age spirituality is to learn about compassion, and loving, and caring, and nurturing, and being mindful. I have been in, and around, and practiced spirituality now for more than 30 years. I’m devastated that we have taken something that was supposed to have been the most mindful, conscious thing we can learn to be, and we have mangled it into something that is the least compassionate and the most mindless thing we can share. It has become the opposite of love – and love is what spirituality is about.

Today I weep at how uncaring, unfeeling, arrogant, self-righteous and the least mindful thing our spirituality has become.  

My beloved friend lost his husband in January. He has been on this spiritual road for more than 40 years and is an absolute icon in the industry. I keep in touch with him to see if he is able to breathe. I try not to be intrusive, so I don’t bog him down with messages continuously. On one occasion he writes, “I dunno anymore. Kinda feels like I can’t do this. 22 years is a really long time, his absence is just too big.”

The pain we experience as humans has nothing to do with our spirit or our soul. The human heart is the fragile thing, and we are here on this planet to learn to treat others with compassion and love, to nurture them, to understand their pain, to share the joy, to live with devastation and above all else, to learn to love, no matter what. When our spirituality becomes dismissive and less-making, when it becomes hard with an unbelievable lack of compassion, our spirituality needs to change, yet again. I had very recently written a post that said our spirituality is not in question, our humanity is. To suggest that one can choose if death of a loved one is painful or not, is inhumane in the extreme.

If this is not an indication of how we have completely missed the point of spirituality, I have no idea what is. Please, I beg you, please rethink what you say when you say things like, “You create your own reality”. Imagine saying that to a man whose son is dying in his arms because he walked home from school down the wrong road and got caught in the crossfire of a gang war, or to a woman who has just been gang raped, or a baby whose vagina has just been ripped open by the penis of her father. Where is the compassion in saying that? Where?

We are not here to have a spiritual experience! We are here to have a human experience. We’ve had spiritual experiences since The Big Bang. If our spirituality lacks compassion understanding and nurturing it lacks the very fundamentals of being human and therefore lacks the highest principle of love. If this is our reality, we may have to reassess our spirituality.

This is what is meant when they say, “Forgive them Father, God, The Universe, Metatron, Hanuman, or whoever, they know not what they do.”

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